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From the "You've Got to be Kidding Me" Department

koppie — Mon, 01/11/2010 - 11:19

You know I'm pretty green.  I don't mean in terms of being inexperienced and not getting what's going on, although that may also be true.  I meant in terms of being environmentally friendly.  My family diverts about 90% of our trash, and that includes the disposable diapers.  (We even tried using compostable diapers.)  So imagine my joy when I discovered this amazing new product.  Just feast your eyes:

it's pocket tissue

They're facial tissues.  Made out of cotton.  "Reusable."  A totally novel new concept.  So wonderfully environmental.  But haven't I seen this somewhere before?  Oh yeah:

it's pocket tissue

It's a pocket handkerchief, guys.  I've been using these instead of disposable kleenex for the better part of a year now.  (The one in my breast pocket is for decoration; the one in my back pocket is for blowing my nose.)

Of course, there are drawbacks to not carrying disposable kleenex.  It's harder to offer my handkerchief to someone else.  It's a germ liability during cold & flu season.  When I get sick, a single handkerchief isn't enough to last me all day.  And I still have to use disposable kleenex at home because what am I going to do, give my guests handkerchiefs and then put them in the laundry when my guests leave?  Besides, disposable kleenex is compostable.  And the mental image of my boogers fertilizing corn is pretty fun, to be honest.

I don't mind our society rediscovering old technology and its utility in modern life.  I'm a huge fan of pocket handkerchiefs and would love to see them make a comeback.  In addition to being better for the environment (and way cheaper in the long run), they're also way cooler.  No one is going to monogram a disposable kleenex.  And more comfortable; my handkerchiefs are 100% cotton and are thick and soft.  Kleenex is made out of wood.  No joke.  Wood.

But don't act like you made this shit up.

J<

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I am a lawyer but this is not legal advice. If you choose to rely on my opinions, you do so at your own detriment. If you need legal help, hire an attorney. (If you want to hire me, contact me and we can negotiate representation.) I used to work for the District Attorney's office but my opinions are my own and are not meant to represent the policy or position of anyone else.